


Dusk to Dawn

by carzla



Series: Between Worlds [2]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Revelations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-10
Updated: 2012-01-10
Packaged: 2017-10-29 07:53:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/317548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carzla/pseuds/carzla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Post AC] She didn’t like being kept in the dark. Especially when the words “Cloud Strife” and “incessant brooding” were in the same sentence. Other than confronting him, there was really nothing she could do since nobody was willing to even give her a hint about what was wrong. It was time everything was let out into light.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dusk

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2007.

There was definitely something bothering Cloud. She was dead sure about it. Being his friend for such a long time and now his girlfriend, it made her able to pick up on his subtle mood changes relatively easily. Although, truth be told, the change hadn’t been quite so subtle in comparison to the other times.

Tifa had first noticed Cloud’s mood dropping two weeks ago. It wasn’t much at first, but he had started going out on deliveries and then stayed out much longer than it required to make said delivery and returning to the bar. The times he stayed out soon became longer with each day, making Tifa suspect that he wanted to stay away for some reason. Furthermore, she had also seen him awake at night, staring at the stars above, as if deep in thought.

As if he was brooding.

The first time it had happened, he was still in the bedroom, sitting on the inner window ledge with one leg bent and the other dangling off the ledge. She had thought it was just a one time thing and had merely turned over and went back to sleep. Perhaps he just couldn’t sleep for the night. Insomnia could strike anyone at any time anyway. It was nothing really unusual.

However, two nights later, when she awoke to use the bathroom and found him missing from his bed, she felt a little worried. A quick search had her finding Cloud sitting outside on the ground, gazing at the stars once again.

She had been contemplating about joining him in stargazing when a lone, glistening tear streaked down his cheek, halting her actions to make her presence known to the blond. Cloud didn’t seem to notice the tear for he continued to gaze at the night sky. Tifa was shocked to say the least.

Cloud never cried. He hadn’t shed a single tear for _eons_. Not since many years ago, when they were both still children living in Nibelheim. And even then, it was still a very rare occurrence. It made her wonder if there were times that Cloud had cried, but there was nobody around to comfort him…

Then there was that incident with Reno five days ago that still left a strange taste in her mouth whenever she thought about it.

She had been talking with Cloud about general matters before starting to steer the conversation towards trying to find out if there was anything wrong with him. It was at that moment when Cloud’s cell phone rang so untimely.

* * *

 _“Hello, Cloud speaking.”_

 _His voice sounded perfectly neutral, like how it always was – cool and calm. However, Tifa could’ve sworn that she saw a look of relief flit across the blond’s visage briefly as he turned away to take the call._

 _“Yo, Cloud-” the unmistakable voice of a certain redhead filtered through from Cloud’s cell phone, but it was cut off quite abruptly._

 _“How in the world did you get my cell phone number?” Cloud demanded. “It’s meant for my friends **only**.”_

 _The remainder of the conversation was lost to Tifa as Cloud hurriedly exited the room to continue what appeared to be a heated conversation with Reno._

* * *

Then as soon as the call ended and he had reappeared, Cloud had told her that ShinRa wanted him to deliver something for them and left hurriedly. Other than the _glaringly obvious_ fact that ShinRa had a number of capable individuals (the Turks) who could handle any sort of delivery the company required especially now that the company had already been rapidly restored to its former glory minus the evil scheming, the fact that Cloud had then disappeared for the remainder of the day and only reappeared back at Seventh Heaven the next morning told Tifa that he staunchly wanted to avoid the topic of himself in any further conversation. A quick check with Reno afterwards had also proved her suspicions to be relatively spot on.

Not that it was easy getting the information out of the redhead in the first place.

After polite asking had amounted to nothing, she had had to take drastic measures. First threatening bodily over the phone, then looking him up to continue to threaten said physical harm and finally, out of sheer exasperation at the situation coupled with her growing worry for Cloud, cried in front of him and Rude (though Tifa would like to say that she had only been _acting_ , it wasn’t totally the case) before Reno had grudgingly gave in although it was not without some choice input from his partner too.

It also appeared to Tifa that Reno was somewhat uncomfortable with crying ladies… which she had decided to store away for future reference if need be. Privately, she hoped that she wouldn’t have to use that piece of information at all… That incident would be the first and last time she shed a tear in front of Reno, because it could backfire on her too. She was sure the redhead could find a way to turn it against her if he wanted to.

It turned out that what Cloud had told her hadn’t been a complete lie. But the delivery that he had been required to make did not need a full day to complete. Instead, Cloud had actually finished the job before mid-afternoon, which was already considered a little faster than what even Rufus Shinra had expected.

Then the next time Reno had seen the blond was much later in the evening and inside a _pub_ no less. Reno had then joined Cloud and both of them had drunk the night away. According to Rude this time, he had to get both drunken men back to the apartment he shared with Reno because it was really the most convenient place around. Which sufficiently explained why Cloud had only returned the next morning.

Why she had _failed_ to notice if Cloud had any signs of a hangover (he didn’t drink that often and it sounded like both him and Reno were very far gone and spouting nonsense when Rude escorted them back) was still a mystery. But she put that down to the fact that Cloud was quite the master at hiding things and that she hadn’t expected him to go drinking the night before.

Tifa still suspected that there could’ve been more to Reno’s story. However, when she had tried to wheedle more out of the Turk, Reno had firmly insisted that _that_ was _that_. The redhead actually had a look on his face that seemed _threatening._ Even Rude hadn’t given any input or hint that Reno could be hiding something else from her.

However, this just signaled to her that something major was bothering Cloud and he’d probably somehow managed to swear Reno to secrecy about the whole thing… if Cloud had actually told Reno anything in the first place. Tifa’s intuition was telling her that Cloud _had_ and it was also hinting to her that it had been Reno’s own choice to keep the secret for Cloud.

So what was it?

And why did everyone seem to know something about it?

Okay, so it wasn’t really _everyone_ per se, but she hated being kept in the dark like that. Most especially when it concerned Cloud Strife. While Reno and Rude weren’t their enemies, she still didn’t think that Cloud would confide in them. Cloud was a rather reserved and private person most of the time. Unless the alcohol he had consumed had lowered his guard enough to spill everything out.

Tifa had by now guessed that it was a _someone_ on Cloud’s mind and not a _something_. So she had begun to eliminate the possibilities. Seriously speaking, there weren’t many choices to begin with.

It wasn’t Aerith. If it were her, Cloud would disappear off to the church, much like what he had done the last time. Which wasn’t too long ago. She had also searched for him in the church before, and whenever she was there, Cloud wasn’t present. She also hadn’t seen any signs of him being there too. She had also gotten a sign of sorts from Aerith’s spirit that Cloud hadn’t come by to brood.

It wasn’t Zack too. Because Cloud tended to go off to the far outskirts of Edge and stay out there for days on end if it were the deceased SOLDIER. At any rate, the furthest he had gone and stayed out for at least a night was that one time when he ended up crashing at Reno and Rude’s apartment after getting drunk.

Therefore, with the duo ruled out, there _didn’t_ seem to be anyone else that could make Cloud become so depressed and moody. And there wasn’t…

Right?

It was high time for an end to be seen. She’d chain up Cloud if that were how she could corner him long enough to _really_ talk and get the full story out of him. Finally she decided to confront Cloud during the night when he watched the stars. It was possibly one of the only times he let his guard down enough for her to be able to make a move. Admittedly, it was low to exploit him when he was at his most vulnerable, but there was no other choice.

* * *

It was yet again a cloudless night. After tucking Denzel and Marlene in, Tifa pretended to be tired and retired to the bedroom. In there, she waited quietly, listening to see when Cloud would leave to sit outside. She had been observing Cloud’s behavior, and now he was going outside every night. So the chances of him being out tonight were very high.

True enough; about twenty minutes later, she heard the bedroom door open and Cloud stepping inside. Probably to check that she was already asleep before moving outside. Tifa made her breathing even to fool Cloud into thinking that she was indeed sound asleep. A few moments later, the bedroom door closed and she soon heard the front door opening and closing quietly. She gave Cloud about fifteen minutes of alone time before quietly leaving the bedroom and going downstairs.

The sight that greeted her was not unlike the last time she had caught him gazing at the stars from the bar. Tifa then realized that when illuminated by a pool of gentle silvery moonlight, Cloud looked vulnerable… and a lot more open. Perhaps it was because of the night’s protective cloak and that he thought nobody else was awake to witness this side of him if he shed his shields.

She quietly exited the house and approached Cloud, mindful to be extremely quiet because of Cloud’s enhanced senses. When she was close enough, Tifa spoke in a light, casual tone, “The stars are really beautiful, aren’t they? It makes me wonder why I haven’t noticed them before.”

Cloud froze for a split second before he turned around to look up at her. “Tifa… I thought you were asleep already… You said you were tired.”

“Oh I don’t know… I couldn’t really sleep. I thought I heard you coming in too, but when I turned around you were gone. So I came out to find you… You like sitting out here and looking at the stars, don’t you?”

Tifa knew that Cloud had gotten the implication of her words when his eyes widened almost imperceptibly before he averted his gaze. It took a few moments later before Cloud replied, voice sounding strangely quieter than ever, to her question, “Yes… yes I do… It’s relaxing.”

While Cloud was talking to her, Tifa could tell he was trying to run all the same. It appeared that the best way for anything to come out was for her to be direct. To cut straight to the core of everything. So, she did just that.

“Cloud, what’s bothering you? And don’t even try bluffing your way out of this. I’ve been watching you for a while already and… _something’s_ wrong.”

“…Pretty straightforward, eh Tifa…?”

“I realized that if I made some grand speech with a long winding prologue, you’ll find someway to escape before I even get to the main point,” she pointed out matter-of-factly as she sat down next to the blond. “And you’re still trying to buy time to find a way to run from me. So, Cloud… What is _it?_ ”

There was a long period of silence, during which Cloud watched the midnight sky and Tifa waited patiently for him to reply. Then he spoke, but with his eyes still looking at the sky above, “I… can’t tell you…”

“Why not?”

“I just _can’t_ , Tifa. I _can’t_.”

“You can. I swear I won’t do _anything_ until you’ve finished speaking. I… I just want to know what’s wrong… I don’t like seeing you so depressed, especially after I thought things were picking up after the incidents with Kadaj’s gang. I’m _worried_ about you Cloud. I want to help you if I can.”

“You won’t like what you hear.”

Tifa was surprised at how resolute Cloud’s voice was. He wasn’t even giving her the chance to listen to him, to hear what – or who – exactly was affecting him so. He had just laid out the verdict without a trial. There weren’t many things that Cloud was so sure of that he would be so stanch about.

“But… you haven’t even tried. How do you _know?_ ”

“I _know_.”

The steel in the blond’s voice and the fact that he didn’t trust her with his problems hurt. But Tifa wasn’t going to let it get to her… _yet_ , anyway. Maybe he really did have a good reason… something that she couldn’t yet come up with. But she was quite sure that Cloud had told Reno. Maybe it wasn’t the whole story; maybe it had happened just because he’d been drunk enough to do so… Either way, the point was that he _had_ told Reno, but he simply _refused_ to tell her.

“You told Reno,” Tifa stated solemnly. She deliberately left the “but you still won’t tell me,” hang in the air, knowing that Cloud would hear it all the same.

She knew he did. Cloud fidgeted slightly, uncomfortably like he was trying not to flinch at her accusation, and his heavenward gaze dropped to look at the ground somewhere near where she sat. She could almost feel him fighting the different reactions he had to her statement. It was probably quite horrible for her to hope that what Cloud said in reply would be telling her what was bothering him… because he felt a little guilty.

“Reno… you looked him up…” Calm, neutral… but she could hear a tinge of anxiety.

“I had to. You didn’t come back until the next day when you went off to deliver something for ShinRa. And you _know_ very well what direction our conversation would have gone to had Reno not called. I thought that you might’ve lied about the delivery and used the opportunity to get away or something.”

“…I’m surprised he’d tell you anything…”

“It wasn’t easy, but I had to know where you went that day. He was the only clue I had, and I’d have found a way to make him talk despite all the difficulties.”

“But he still didn’t tell you what you wanted…”

So Cloud was admitting that he had told Reno something. “We wouldn’t be having this conversation if he had.”

“You might be trying to get it directly from me, just to confirm if it was true…”

“I… Cloud, please just what is it that you can trust _Reno_ with but not _me_?! I swear that when I tried to ask him past the fact that you both got as drunk as hell and were carried back to his and Rude’s apartment by Rude… he actually looked liked he was going to _threaten_ me if I asked any further.”

At that, Cloud looked up at her and she could see some surprise in his blue eyes. Was he surprised that she had managed to get so many details out of Reno? Or was it because of the fact that Reno had almost threatened her because Reno was going to keep his secret at all costs?

“He was _that_ serious…?”

“Yes. Which is why I know it has to be something big. You and I both know that Reno _isn’t_ one of the most sensitive persons on the Planet.”

“…It’s because he understands, Tifa…”


	2. Midnight

“Under…stands?”

The look on Cloud’s face let Tifa know at once that Cloud hadn’t meant to speak aloud. Or even whisper it out, because the quiet of the night allowed almost any sound to be heard quite clearly. It also let her know that Cloud knew that he had let slip one little detail that was a link to his problem. He probably knew well that Tifa would use it to her full advantage – she was too determined to get to the bottom of whatever that was bothering him by now.

She now watched Cloud intensely, knowing somehow that he was finally beginning to waver under that slip and the fact that it was _the night_ , a time he was more susceptible than ever. Maybe he wouldn’t tell her the whole thing at one go… but knowing just a little would help her get more of it out of him. She continued watching as Cloud sighed quietly, and the tension seemed to just leave his body as a sort of resignation entered his eyes.

“Yes, Tifa… Reno understands,” he spoke with a kind of heaviness to his voice. “That’s why he hasn’t, and probably _won’t_ breathe a word to a single soul. Not now, not ever.”

“What does he understand?” _That I supposedly can’t? Why **would** he understand?_

Cloud once again looked uncomfortable. “That… uh that… kinda strays into his personal life too, Tifa…”

“If you’d told me straight out earlier, we wouldn’t even have mentioned Reno… He’d have stayed wholly anonymous throughout the whole conversation and his personal life would never have been dragged in – unintentionally or not.”

He winced a little, and rubbed his arm a little nervously. “There’s no way you’ll stop, right? Not tonight, not tomorrow night… not until you get it out from me, right?”

“I won’t stop, until I hear what’s bothering you. Just tell me, please.”

“…”

“Be honest with me, Cloud. Please?”

“You’ll wish you never wanted me to be honest with you about this once you hear it,” the blond mumbled, mostly to himself although Tifa still caught it. Then in a slightly louder voice, he said with a note of resignation and slight apprehension tingeing an otherwise melancholy lilt, “What Reno understands is… is that… he knows what it’s like to… to love someone who you _knew_ never was within your grasp no matter how hard you try to reach… someone who was much _too high_ above you to even possibly notice you for who you are… someone who is all that _and more_ … and someone of that caliber who actually… actually _loved you back…_ ”

What Cloud said only made Tifa more confused than ever. But even so, the way the blond spoke… that sudden wistful, longing look that appeared in his eyes… even though he was looking at her eyes, he wasn’t really seeing her…

All those details had not been lost on her. Cloud was deeply in love with someone… someone that was unreachable… Not in the sense that she was dead, Tifa could tell… but like he was inferior and had always been… Although Tifa had already ruled _her_ out, and Cloud’s description didn’t seem to fit at all… she still had to ask to be sure.

“I… take it that… it’s not Aerith…?”

“…No… it’s not her…”

“Okay…”

“…It’s… It’s not even a ‘her’…”

Not even a ‘her’… That meant… Was it because the person in Cloud’s mind was a _male_ that made him decide not to tell her about it?

“You wouldn’t tell me who… because… because you think I’d be… I’d be…” She didn’t even know what word to use. “…Because you love a male?”

The tired, weary look in Cloud’s eyes was even more pronounced as he managed a weak chuckle at her question. “That’s only partly the reason, only half the problem… though you accepted this part easier than I had imagined…”

“Oh…”

If that wasn’t the main reason, that meant that the identity of the man was the key reason. Admittedly, it was a little shocking to hear Cloud admit that he did fancy men, but it was still acceptable… somewhat, she supposed. So what was it about the person’s identity? Tifa didn’t have time to think anymore as Cloud suddenly spoke.

“Tifa… I think that this is enough for you. I don’t want to hurt you any further. If you continue to pry, I _know_ you won’t be able to take it. I’m still surprised that Reno didn’t make a big commotion when he heard it… maybe the alcohol didn’t let him process everything… It’s, it’s _not_ something you want to hear. It’s not something _anybody_ would want to hear.”

“I know that person, right?”

Cloud was hesitant to reply, but he did it anyway, “Yes, you know him… But please, Tifa, don’t… _don’t_ ask who he is. Don’t even try to guess… You don’t want to know. You _don’t!_ ”

“Cloud… I… If you’re happy with him… then it’s okay… but I just want to know whom. You can at least give me the privilege to be the first one to chide him for making you _this_ depressed.” Tifa hoped that her attempt to lighten the mood would make Cloud ease up and be able to freely tell her who that man was.

 _‘It’s okay?’ What in nine hells do you **mean** ‘it’s okay’?!_ a voice in her mind screamed at her. _It’s **not** okay, for your **boyfriend** to suddenly admit to having another lover!!_

Tifa quickly shoved it away, firmly telling herself that ever since Meteor, she had only wanted Cloud to be happy. He had suffered for far too long and he deserved to live a blissful life. If that meant that he couldn’t be with her, then… then so be it. Perhaps it was a way of making up to him for those childhood days in Nibelheim where she never really treated him all that nicely…

Strangely enough, Cloud actually laughed. It wasn’t a joyful laugh though. The sound that came out from his lips was almost strangled.

“I… you… _can’t_ … He… He’s dead.”

Dead. The voice in her mind was cooing with utterly gleeful joy and Tifa felt extremely guilty and disgusted by it. The other part of her, however, was in shock and she felt some sorrow too. It would explain why Cloud hadn’t wanted to tell her anything in the beginning. Cloud never took the deaths of friends and loved ones very well and he tended to keep his grief to himself. Aerith and Zack were excellent, and luckily the only, examples of that. Zack… _Zack_ … wait… although she had thought… it…

“Zack… is it him?” she heard herself ask softly.

Cloud shook his head and it left her stupefied.

Zack _fit_ the description. Perfectly. Zack was a First Class SOLDIER, while Cloud had only been a trooper. All those in SOLDIER, regardless of class, were looked up upon, and Zack had been second to only _one_ particular man… That made him very likely to be revered too. He definitely would’ve been deemed untouchable and unreachable although he was friendly with everyone.

Yet… yet Cloud denied that it was Zack.

“But… he fits…”

“He does, I know… but it isn’t Zack. He was a very, very good friend, but we… He had always loved Aerith and only her, despite all his flirting.”

“Then _who_ Cloud? Nobody else fits the description!”

“There is, Tifa. There is. You probably know it in the back of your mind, but you just never thought it was possible. I know _I_ never thought it was possible.”

“There _isn’t_. You’re lying to me… there _isn’t_.”

“I’ll ask you one last time Tifa… Just to be sure… even though I don’t think it’s wise to tell you… Do you _really_ want to know the truth? Are you _absolutely sure?_ ”

“Yes. Yes, I am.” As confused as she was, this was the one thing she was absolutely, totally, utterly certain about. “Whoever he is, I want to know. For someone to be loved so dearly by you… he can’t be all that bad like what you seem to think I’ll feel, right?”

“Right…” Cloud murmured dubiously as he leaned backwards to lie on the ground, his hands supporting his head. “I… I’m still not sure _how_ to tell you… I…” There was a long pause as Cloud shut his eyes in contemplation. “Tifa, do you know how Kadaj looked, no, how Kadaj _was_ when he died?”

Somehow, she knew that his question had some meaning to the whole thing, as strange as it was. So she answered, despite sorely wanting to question Cloud how _in the world_ did _Kadaj_ come into picture? “No… I was on the airship with the others…”

“He was so innocent… so _childlike_ … If I hadn’t been fighting him barely moments ago, I would _never_ have thought he’d be capable of hurting anyone, let alone cause the havoc that he had. I probably wouldn’t have known that he was the _leader_ amongst his brothers. He was like a lost, scared little child looking frantically for his mother… _Not_ JENOVA, probably _never_ her at all… but someone who would really care for him and not use him like JENOVA did…”

“He left willingly… He had found someone who would love him for who he was just moments before he died… just as the healing rain came I believe. I think it was Aerith who held her hand out to him, to welcome him to a safe home forever… There’s another side to Kadaj that I’m sure nobody, not his enemies have ever seen but me. I don’t think anyone thought that he was so much like a child… so young and innocent.”

“You’re probably wondering why I’m telling you this Tifa… but just, just keep in mind that everyone has different sides to themselves… That what you see may not be what you get. Most of the time it’s like that Tifa. With _him_ … it always was…”

“…Who…?”

Cloud shut his eyes tightly and bit his lip. Up till now, he was still struggling to tell her who that mysterious person was. Why? Who was he?

 _Are you sure you still don’t know, Tifa Lockhart? Or are you just in denial?_

No, she didn’t know. She wasn’t in denial.

 _There has to be a reason for Cloud to bring up **Kadaj**. He could’ve told you that message about different sides to a person without using Kadaj’s example specifically._

Cloud was just making a point. Just using the best example he could think of at that moment. That was _all_.

 _You **know** what Kadaj was… Tifa Lockhart. You definitely knew what – **who** – he could, and eventually **did** , turn into._

No. It couldn’t be!!

“Tifa… I do love you. Even after you find out who he is… please believe me. I don’t usually think about him… not in a long while… I _really_ do love you.”

“I know, I believe you… But who… Cloud…? _Who?_ ”

She saw him take a long, deep breath and let it out slowly. Then he turned to fix his brilliant glowing blue eyes on her steadfastly, as his mouth slowly formed a word, a _name_ …

“ _…Sephiroth…_ ”


	3. Dawn

It felt like time had stopped moving, and that everything everywhere had halted to hear that singular word that came out of Cloud’s lips. The moment was so long, so drawn out, that Tifa could’ve sworn that the faint echoes from Cloud’s voice that spoke that name was still echoing around her… _all_ around her… over and over again.

Sephiroth.

 _The_ Sephiroth. _The_ former General of the ShinRa army. JENOVA’s child. Call him what you will.

She couldn’t get it around her mind. It just wouldn’t go down straight. Maybe she was _refusing_ to do so… but she just… just _couldn’t_. Cloud couldn’t be serious. He just couldn’t be. Of all… of all the people to love, and to be so deeply in love with… it had to be… _Sephiroth?!_

The man who had wanted the destruction of the Planet. The man who had killed Aerith. The man who had set the disaster of Meteor upon them all.

Different sides. Yes. She had seen them in Sephiroth too: from insane psychopath to cruelly homicidal murderer. Different sides…? Oh _yeah_ , the man had them. He had all sorts of sides to him, but none… _none_ of them was ever any good.

“Ti… Tifa?” came Cloud’s hesitant and unsure voice. It was as if he was afraid to startle her out of the daze she had fallen into… which probably _was_ the case.

“Cloud… you… you’re lying, aren’t you? You… you’re _lying! Right!?_ ”

But even before Cloud had given her an answer to that frantic question, Tifa already knew the truth. No. Cloud hadn’t been lying. He wouldn’t have… She had said it before that Cloud was honest. He never lied about his abilities, what he could or could not do – or say for the matter.

He ran, yes. But that was because he knew or thought that he couldn’t do something and he was afraid about it. He was still honest to himself. So why would Cloud stop now? And even if he were joking, he’d never have mentioned… _Sephiroth._ That was one person whom you could never, _ever_ joke about.

Also, Cloud was one of the most sensitive people that she had ever had the pleasure to know. He didn’t show it much, but he knew whenever something was wrong, when to push or retreat and what would hurt someone… and he _had_ tried to make her give up on finding out the truth. She had just ignored his intentions and plowed on relentlessly.

What a thing she had uncovered in the end.

“No Tifa, I’m not. Not about this, _never_ about this…”

Had Tifa been standing up, she would’ve staggered backwards and fallen to the floor. She knew her legs wouldn’t be able to hold her upright even if she decided to up and leave at this very moment. Cloud was trying his best to think of something to say to her, she could tell. He was probably expecting the worst reaction from her. Because, really, how would you react if your lover told you that he’d once loved someone whom you thought was your _common enemy?_ If anyone from their group of friends heard about this, they’d flip out too.

What _should_ she say to that? It shocked her, it angered her and it most definitely hurt her to hear Cloud say that. However, she had been sufficiently warned and that she had even said… even said that if Cloud loved that particular someone so much then he couldn’t be all that evil. She had said that to him and no wonder Cloud didn’t sound like he believed her. Because he knew just _how much_ she had hated Sephiroth for destroying their hometown and killing her father… and how much she still hated the silver-haired man. Just because the man was dead, it didn’t mean that her hatred had died altogether.

“…Tifa, I… I’m so sorry. I’m really, really sorry… You… probably hate me now too… But I… I’m just so _sorry!_ ”

“…I-It isn’t your fault Cloud… I asked… and you told me… even though you hadn’t wanted to… and knew I… I… wouldn’t have… taken it well…” Tifa said unsteadily, unsure if she was really the one saying those words. Her brain hadn’t really taken to functioning very properly… When had Cloud sat up anyway?

The answer didn’t seem to have made Cloud any less anxious as he suddenly stood up, with all the intention of walking off in his posture. “I should go… Don’t… stay out too long, Tifa… You might catch a cold…”

Before she knew it, her hand had reached out – lightning fast – to grasp his, stopping him from walking away. “Where are you going to go?”

“Somewhere… _Anywhere_ … I don’t know…” was Cloud’s uncertain reply, but he made no move to shake her hand away from his.

“Stay, Cloud. Stay. Please?”

He seemed to deliberate, to consider his actions. No doubt that Cloud thought that leaving her now would be for the best. He _had_ dropped a bombshell on her, and it was one that would probably be too hard to accept by anyone who had gone through the horror that was Meteor _and_ trying to stop Sephiroth.

But Tifa would not let him walk away from her again. She was upset, yes. But if she let him go now, she wasn’t sure if she’d ever see him again. Cloud might think that it would for the best if they never saw each other again, and as hurt as she was by the revelation, Tifa didn’t think she could survive a blow such as that.

Finally, Cloud answered her, voice full of doubt and uncertainty, “Tifa… I don’t understand… Why do you want me to stay?”

“Because I don’t think I can stand seeing you walk away for… possibly… forever. And… and… this might sound, I don’t know… weird at the moment, but I want to know… Why _him_ , Cloud?”

Yes, that was the question in her mind. Because whatever she had known about Sephiroth would never have placed him in her good books. Not in a million and one years. Probably even more too. True, she had heard that before Nibelheim, Sephiroth was sane and everyone knew him as the great General and the Wutai war hero. But that was nothing compared to a zillion things she could name about the atrocities he had committed.

“…You ask the most difficult questions…”

“Thank you, I try to…” she joked in an attempt to lift the mood.

Cloud slowly sat back down, still maintaining a certain distance from her that was probably deliberate. He wasn’t very comfortable about the situation, although it seemed that he wanted to get the secret about Sephiroth off his chest some time now. Maybe that was why he had told Reno, drunk or not.

“Why him…? I’m not sure if you’ll understand, Tifa… But I know two different versions of Sephiroth – the one whom we all fought against and the one, whom I believe only Zack and I knew. The Sephiroth I loved was the one before Nibelheim… however; it didn’t make facing the psychotic shell of that same man any easier…”

“You hid everything so well, Cloud. I don’t think anyone would’ve even guessed that you… you… loved him…”

“You forgot that I happened to be adopting Zack’s personality for most of the time then, Tifa, and as far as I knew, Zack only had a platonic relationship with Sephiroth. I was pretty confused in the beginning when I learned of Sephiroth’s return, until some of the memories began sorting itself out to tell me _something_ about the Sephiroth I used to know, even before you helped me piece together the majority of my memories… and well, sometimes what the heart remembers lasts even if the mind doesn’t. But I’m digressing, somewhat, from your original question.”

“The Sephiroth from my days as a recruit in SOLDIER was different from the enemy we had faced. He was, undoubtedly, just as powerful as before, but the similarities ended there. Many people thought he was sculpted from ice because of his constant stoic expression and demeanor… In a way, it wasn’t that much different from the other version of him. But never… _Never_ have I witnessed the sadistic, gleeful gleam in his eyes during those days in SOLDIER. It was how I knew that it wasn’t really Sephiroth whom I was facing, but someone, no _something_ , that was using the image of him to act out its will.”

“JENOVA…”

“Yes,” Cloud confirmed before continuing, “Sephiroth, despite being ShinRa’s best SOLDIER and the Wutai war hero, he wasn’t arrogant. Sure, he had his pride and all, but they were all justifiable and he never deliberately flaunted his power just because he could do it. In all actuality, Sephiroth didn’t like being in the spotlight, but he couldn’t avoid it. Because of all that attention on him, it inadvertently isolated him from everyone except, as far as I know, Zack… and he was the one who introduced me to Sephiroth.”

Tifa didn’t know if she should be surprised at that. What she knew about Zack told her that he was a fun-loving person who had the mentality that the more friends, the merrier. Something that he probably felt would apply to everyone else too. But she didn’t comment as Cloud continued after the brief pause.

“Zack knew that I admired Sephiroth from about as soon as we became friends. I didn’t even tell him anything, nor did I know that he knew about it until he decided to confirm it with me one day. I’m not very sure why Zack would think it was a good idea to introduce me to Sephiroth; it didn’t make sense then – I was a cadet and Sephiroth was The General.

But I think… I think it was because he saw some similarities in us. I didn’t have many friends, mostly because of my shyness and that the boys tended to ostracize people who appeared to be ‘different’ in any form of the word. Sephiroth, like I said earlier, was isolated from having much company due to his status. So I guess that was why Zack decided that he’d introduce us to each other. Guess he figured that we’d hit off or something… I’m not sure if he forgot the fact that I there was one huge difference between us that made everything a lot more difficult, or that he just thought that it wasn’t of consequence right from the beginning.”

“I’m guessing that to you at least, it was.”

“Oh, definitely. Zack didn’t even _tell_ me that he was going to take me to meet Sephiroth. He just dragged me out of my dorm without an explanation to why he was taking me out late at night and why he was heading for the ballrooms of the complex when _everyone_ knew that there was a function for the higher ups going on there. When I had finally gotten the answer out of him, we were already on the floor that housed the ballrooms. I don’t think I’ve ever been freaked out more than that time.” Cloud finished talking with a wry smile on his face, most likely thinking back to how he had acted at that time.

“So what happened?” Tifa prompted, a little shocked to find herself genuinely interested in knowing more… As if Sephiroth – or the image of him as Cloud told her – had never committed the atrocities that he had.

Cloud let out a short chuckle, sounding truly amused at that particular memory. Something that Tifa knew didn’t happen very often if Cloud’s constant reluctance to talk about his past was any indication.

“Well, it was too late to actually turn back, not that I didn’t try to. But I couldn’t leave without Zack, cause I’d be in big trouble if that was the case… and since I couldn’t drag Zack back unlike what he did with me, I had to go ahead with his hair-brained scheme. Which surprisingly, turned out okay.

Somehow, Zack had managed to convince Sephiroth to leave early. So when the ballroom was in view, I could see Sephiroth outside, leaning against one of marble pillars. If Zack telling me that I was going to meet Sephiroth wasn’t enough to freak me out, actually seeing him in flesh _and_ out of uniform…” he trailed off, highly likely to be lost for descriptive words from that faraway, almost dazed look Tifa could see in his eyes. He was probably imagining that scene all over again.

“If you said that the whole thing turned out okay… I don’t think you fainted, right?” she couldn’t help but tease him a little due to his expression, her brown eyes sparkling with mirth under the moonlight.

“Tifa!” Cloud protested indignantly, before laughing softly at her words. “No, no. I definitely didn’t do that.”

“Hmm… then what _did_ you do?”

“Well…”

* * *

They stayed outside the whole night; where she continued to listen to Cloud relate his story of him and Sephiroth. Tifa realized that it had been a very long time since she had seen Cloud so relaxed and at ease. So much so that they could actually banter and tease each other. To think that the key to that sort of openness from the blond was actually Sephiroth, a man whom she had earlier thought Cloud hated, only to be proven otherwise in the span of the starlit night.

Not too long ago, Cloud had fallen silent, his long reminiscence coming to an end. Tifa had taken the opportunity to move closer to the blond, leaning against him to show that after all he had told her, had finally trusted her enough with that secret, she didn’t really hold it against him anymore.

It was true that she would never know the Sephiroth that Cloud had described to her. Even the short time she had met the man before he went insane at Nibelheim did not seem like the person Cloud loved so wholeheartedly. However, it was enough for her to concede that Sephiroth could not have been bad right from the very beginning and whatever happened with JENOVA, the man himself probably couldn’t even prevent it. Because if you found out that you were a result of an experiment… things didn’t tend to go over very well.

But it seemed that Cloud still wasn’t so sure that she was all right with it. Their companionable silence was broken by his soft, questioning voice. “Tifa… Are you really okay with what I’ve told you?”

Angling her head so she could look at Cloud’s eyes while still resting her head on his shoulder, Tifa replied with a gentle smile, “I will admit that I will never personally know how Sephiroth was like before JENOVA activated her control over him. But with all I’ve heard Cloud, I’m beginning to get just an inkling of how he could’ve been. I don’t hate you for it Cloud. I _really don’t_.”

Cloud still looked like he had his doubts, but she quickly cut him off before he could say anything more along those lines. “Idiot,” she muttered affectionately with a tint of exasperation to her voice.

Then Tifa moved in to kiss him full on the lips. A few moments later, Cloud wrapped his arms around her and responded to the kiss ardently.

At that instant, the first rays of sunlight finally broke through the horizon.


End file.
